In the midst of Storm

“When you follow Christ don’t expect a storm-free life but you can have a storm-proof life because of Him. When the disciples were afraid as Jesus walked on water during the storm, Matthew 14:27 tells us, “But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid.” The secret to a storm-proof life is the presence of God in it”

It happened August 24, 2016
I got home 8pm
that’s when I knew that we have an emergency because my father had stroke attack,
and we need to rush him at St. Lukes Hospital,
I was shivering and panicking,
hope you all knew my mother had stroke attack also 2 years ago and she still half body paralyzed until now
and I’m silently praying that I hope God won’t allow the same thing to happen again to my father because I cannot go through this
kind of trial again.
we reach Emergency Room within a minutes after, I know St. Lukes is one of the most expensive hospitals in town,
but I don’t care how much I’m going to pay later because all I need is my father to be saved.
I was comforted to see how the nurses and the doctor respond the exact moment they see us, they were alert and they have the
they have this sense of urgency as mine.
My sister was with me that time and when the nurse assured that everything is going to be ok,
my sister sent me home so I could look after my mother who is worrying as well.
I walk all the way from St. Luke to our house, gave all my friends, especially my fellow believers in Christ to ask for a prayer,
and informed my boss, that I cannot go to work for a couple of days.
I cannot feel the God’s present by that time, I cannot hear him telling me, everything will be ok, or be still, or am here for you, or I’m with you.
I must admit I hated him that moment, telling him things like “first my sister got terminated in her work and
now this? God? are you really there?
When I got home I found my mother lying on the bed, she is still unaware of what is really happening or what is really going on,
I was ruthless to tell her the detail, that’s why she cried, I think I made her cry on  purpose
it’s like telling her “don’t sleep so well, don’t calm, because everything is not fine!!” it was rude action
I was ruthless and that is very selfish, and I don’t know what is got into me,
I regretted it a moment later, that’s is when I know my faith is stumbling, and I’m flanking this Divine exam.
we transfer father the next day to Taguig-Pateros District hospital,
he got admitted in ICU for three days
and by Saturday the hospital
discharge Him because of his healthier condition and for most people including myself considered it as a miracle,…
I was crying this moment, but this time it is not because I felt God has forsaken us,
Im falling into my knees because, He is good.
I regret why I didn’t trust God,
the lesson I learned is,
it is not how I feel or what I feel,
I feel God wasn’t there in the midst of the storm, but the truth is he is in there, he is actually everywhere, he hears every detail of prayers,
that time I think I was Peter,
He saw Jesus walking on the water, He believed,
so when he ask Jesus to command him to walk on the water, Peter got out of the boat and walked in the water but when he sees the storm, the wind and thunder and the big wave of the ocean rushing thru, he became afraid and sink, but then Jesus immediately catches Him and the storm pass away and the wind and ocean became still and Jesus told peter “O you little faith? why did you doubt?”.
that is the story and I was Peter stumbling because of the storm, I neglected the presence of Jesus in the midst, I ignored him because I was too focused on the problem,
knowing everything is all fine after a week.
I know God fulfilled His promise to catches me when I sink, telling the storm to pass afterward telling me “O you little faith? why did you doubt?”.
I’m still a work in progress when it comes to my faith.
like Peter, I was walking with God all along, I already saw his Glory, and wonder and love but yet still got stumbled and doubt when the storm is coming through.
Today, we are gonna lose the rest of our investments because of the hospital bill but I’m thanking God.
Because not money, not even my unbelief can separate me from his greatest love.
PS: I’m thinking if I love and trust my earthly father who is a sinner as well this much,
I should love my heavenly father deeper.

In the midst of Storm

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